Mary, this memoir was just made for me, written FOR me, how did you know? You had me with its title alone. I am 64 years old. I was married for 33 years until I decided to end it in 2022 for all kinds of reasons that had been building to a crescendo for years, and insufficient libido (on his part, not mine) was part of it. So you saying you chased D around the bedroom made me giggle in recognition. Now I want to go out and date but I've been out of that game for 35 years (I wrote about that here: https://amybrown.substack.com/p/do-i-want-to-date-again-after-35) and so I hesitate. Some fear, some anxiety, also feeling very comfortable in the first home I've ever had completely for myself and my (mostly) delicious and satisfying solitude. But still...I want to "re-make love" in my 60s, just like you, and very much want to make love again, with the right person. So I will be hanging on every chapter of your memoir. Thank you for writing it for us.
Mary! I read this (and the next 3 or 4 posts in the series) months ago and then I got caught up in something and forgot. Now I'm restarting. I find Bill Maher smug and hateful (his views on Muslims are repugnant and if he hates me I'm not going to waste any time on him)
I LOVE when Harry Met Sally and I love your French Fry Cutter references. So clever and heartful at the same time. I can't wait to dig back in. Much love.
Hi Mary! I’m really late to the party here, but I’m looking forward to catching up on the memoir. This is such a great start—no wasted words here. I’m also a sucker for any memoir that weaves together the personal with some thoughtful pop cultural references. I guess the benefit of being late is that now I can binge on some of your work!
No worries Mary! I’m new to being on Substack, and my inbox and notifications are already overwhelming! It’s easy to miss things, so I can only imagine what that looks like on your end!
Finally got this one from my reading queue and started it. I think it will be fascinating, judging from Part 1. By the way, I really love this movie... Brings tears to my eyes every time...
So glad you felt that way about Chapter one. That flick brings tears to my eyes too (laughing and loving tears) every time. I hope to hear more from you --and looking forward to answering your question, up soon, here: https://marytabor.substack.com/p/write-it-and-this-writing-life xo ~ Mary
I'm currently publishing a romcom in serial form on Substack. The female protagonist is a bit like me multiplied x1,000 or more. Or maybe she is what I would like to be. I hope you like the dialogue. Your memoir is a little scary for me. However, I am liking chapter 1.
I came to love romantic comedies late in life. When I was young, I thought their lightness meant they were easy to write, disposable - but I actually now think they are the hardest genre to write in! So many things can go wrong, and to get love right, to create emotion and tears... that's skill. My all time fave is "Groundhog Day".
This is my second time around reading your memoir and I'm seeing new things and appreciating all the more your sense of humour. Thanks for sharing it here with us.
I also recommend Erin Carlson who writes You've Got Mail on Substack. She and I are kindred spirits about the rom-com--and we both miss Norah Ephron, who really knew how to put a good story together that wasn't trite or silly.
I can't stop watching _Groundhog Day_ --and that's a super example of why the genre needs to be re-invigorated.
Ollie, I love that you are reading the memoir. We will be conversing regularly and later today or tomorrow I'll be reading your new post. The thing about Substack is that those who are generous to others build connection. And you know my mantra: "Only connect ..."
So I'm all in. I started reading it, and plan to read on. Sometimes, you need to have a woman's perspective when it comes to this sort of thing. It will definitely help with my storytelling. If I'm still into this by chapter 10, I'll CROSS-POST you...and that's a promise.
Mary, we're sort of neighbors. I'm north of you by many, many, many, many blocks blocks. I used to live on the South side when Mt husband and I were first married.
Starting from chapter 1! Fabulous start. I love Harry and Sally. And you are like Carrie from Sex in the City. This is fun! I would love to be a fly on the wall in D’s mind when he read the book!
Mary, I meaningful post for me. Those words, 'I need to live alone,' were perhaps the most devastating in my life. How you were able to find them in your life and relate to all of us is amazing.
Thank you so, Josh. More to come -- and it's all amazingly true. Fiction could never have done this -- and we move forward through pain, don't we? Mean so much that you took the time to comment.
Mary, this memoir was just made for me, written FOR me, how did you know? You had me with its title alone. I am 64 years old. I was married for 33 years until I decided to end it in 2022 for all kinds of reasons that had been building to a crescendo for years, and insufficient libido (on his part, not mine) was part of it. So you saying you chased D around the bedroom made me giggle in recognition. Now I want to go out and date but I've been out of that game for 35 years (I wrote about that here: https://amybrown.substack.com/p/do-i-want-to-date-again-after-35) and so I hesitate. Some fear, some anxiety, also feeling very comfortable in the first home I've ever had completely for myself and my (mostly) delicious and satisfying solitude. But still...I want to "re-make love" in my 60s, just like you, and very much want to make love again, with the right person. So I will be hanging on every chapter of your memoir. Thank you for writing it for us.
I like your voice better!!
Better than what? But with my thanks ...
Do you mean here? https://marytabor.substack.com/p/who-by-fire ???
Mary! I read this (and the next 3 or 4 posts in the series) months ago and then I got caught up in something and forgot. Now I'm restarting. I find Bill Maher smug and hateful (his views on Muslims are repugnant and if he hates me I'm not going to waste any time on him)
I LOVE when Harry Met Sally and I love your French Fry Cutter references. So clever and heartful at the same time. I can't wait to dig back in. Much love.
I think I love you, Noha! Yep, yep and yep!
Ha!! Same.
What a gorgeous start!
So intrigued after seeing the end first. Such a popping voice, Mary.
Oh, Kathleen, I'm so glad you're reading and such a generous comment. I'm beginning yours today! xx ~ Mary
Hi Mary! I’m really late to the party here, but I’m looking forward to catching up on the memoir. This is such a great start—no wasted words here. I’m also a sucker for any memoir that weaves together the personal with some thoughtful pop cultural references. I guess the benefit of being late is that now I can binge on some of your work!
Jacob, My apologies for the late reply! I missed this one and remain so grateful for it!
No worries Mary! I’m new to being on Substack, and my inbox and notifications are already overwhelming! It’s easy to miss things, so I can only imagine what that looks like on your end!
I knowww ... But ain't it grand!
Indeed!
Sorry for late reply. You made me smile. Thank you, Jacob, for reading and commenting.
Oh, I love this intro! So much happening in such few words. So relatable.
Slipping seamlessly between layers:
"I had been married twenty-one years when D. announced, “I need to live alone.” Oh so Greta Garbo. There was absolutely no noise...."
Wonderful! And a great ending / bridge / pause to a wait-there's-more-future.
Grand comment. My heart to yours, Veronika. Also check your email, probably in your spam from my me dot com personal email from me to you. xo ~ Mary
Thank you Mary. I checked spam and found notifications from substack about your comments here, but no personal email... (apart from the original one)
Finally got this one from my reading queue and started it. I think it will be fascinating, judging from Part 1. By the way, I really love this movie... Brings tears to my eyes every time...
So glad you felt that way about Chapter one. That flick brings tears to my eyes too (laughing and loving tears) every time. I hope to hear more from you --and looking forward to answering your question, up soon, here: https://marytabor.substack.com/p/write-it-and-this-writing-life xo ~ Mary
I'm currently publishing a romcom in serial form on Substack. The female protagonist is a bit like me multiplied x1,000 or more. Or maybe she is what I would like to be. I hope you like the dialogue. Your memoir is a little scary for me. However, I am liking chapter 1.
Scary how? Or read more and tell.
Scary in that doom seemed to be rapidly approaching. Just finished ch. 2. Not scared now. I'm goofy about 1959 cars. I think that was a Dodge.
A dodge eventually.
I came to love romantic comedies late in life. When I was young, I thought their lightness meant they were easy to write, disposable - but I actually now think they are the hardest genre to write in! So many things can go wrong, and to get love right, to create emotion and tears... that's skill. My all time fave is "Groundhog Day".
This is my second time around reading your memoir and I'm seeing new things and appreciating all the more your sense of humour. Thanks for sharing it here with us.
I also recommend Erin Carlson who writes You've Got Mail on Substack. She and I are kindred spirits about the rom-com--and we both miss Norah Ephron, who really knew how to put a good story together that wasn't trite or silly.
I can't stop watching _Groundhog Day_ --and that's a super example of why the genre needs to be re-invigorated.
Ollie, I love that you are reading the memoir. We will be conversing regularly and later today or tomorrow I'll be reading your new post. The thing about Substack is that those who are generous to others build connection. And you know my mantra: "Only connect ..."
So I'm all in. I started reading it, and plan to read on. Sometimes, you need to have a woman's perspective when it comes to this sort of thing. It will definitely help with my storytelling. If I'm still into this by chapter 10, I'll CROSS-POST you...and that's a promise.
Wow! Thank you, Ben!!! You're a love ...
I agree. The hell with Bill Maher.
I enjoyed reading your prologue and first chapter. I am so sorry about D. But you are a fabulous woman and writer. So glad you are writing this.
Oh, aren't you lovely. Hope you keep reading. Am off to subscribe to YOU! xo ~ Mary
I'm already subscribed to you! Such sharp wit.
Just recommmended you Big Time!
Mary, we're sort of neighbors. I'm north of you by many, many, many, many blocks blocks. I used to live on the South side when Mt husband and I were first married.
Check your gmail: I have an idea for you ...
Thank you, Mary!
Great beginning --especially when I agree with the end!
Love this comment! Thank you, Diane!
Starting from chapter 1! Fabulous start. I love Harry and Sally. And you are like Carrie from Sex in the City. This is fun! I would love to be a fly on the wall in D’s mind when he read the book!
So glad to have you as reader! I wish I were like Carrie -- no chance ... xo
Mary, I meaningful post for me. Those words, 'I need to live alone,' were perhaps the most devastating in my life. How you were able to find them in your life and relate to all of us is amazing.
Thank you, Bill
Such a generous comment. Thank you, Bill--and I hope you'll keep reading this true story that could never have been written as fiction.
Love this, Mary. Crisp and witty!
Thank you so, Josh. More to come -- and it's all amazingly true. Fiction could never have done this -- and we move forward through pain, don't we? Mean so much that you took the time to comment.
I want to read more!!!
Thank you, Reena. More is coming! Watch for Chapter 2!
I’m a big believer in friendship as part of romantic love. I married my best friend and it has had immense rewards.
I did too! Marry the man who makes you laugh.
Key, Reena, about life and love.