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Francesca Bossert's avatar

Mary,

I read this so slowly, so carefully, and I don't know how you managed to write something so beautiful, so haunting, so harrowing. My brow is furrowed as I type this because your pain is universal. A friend of mine just lost her daughter to cancer, she was 33, and I feel like an inside out sweater when I try to think of what to say to her, because she is unraveled, and there are no words, just quiet presence.

Thank you,

Francesca

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Ollie Redfern's avatar

I've saved this text to read it at the right time... I knew it couldn't be any day, or any time. Today was the day, and I read it while accompanied by your recorded reading, Mary (an impeccable and powerful read.) It's a thing of beauty, of pain and remembrance... I don't think there's a more powerful eulogy online. Thank you for sharing with us. I will come back here to visit this essay from time to time.

Thinking of you today with love.

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Lorie Adair's avatar

Beautiful.

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Alida Winternheimer's avatar

So beautiful. So moving. Thank you for sharing this passage through grief, this call for lifeboats.

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Ah, Alida. We were so meant to connect.

I'm so hoping you will find time for Who by Fire: https://substack.com/@maryltabor/note/c-100782373

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Liza Debevec's avatar

How beautiful, Mary. And how raw. Thank you for sharing this.

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Liza, bless you for reading and for your words here.

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👉🏻jonathan_foster's avatar

i agree with what david wrote in the comment before ... it's a sacred text.

thank you for writing it ... and bless you.

"I’m carried on the surge of the ocean under sky that rains into the sea of loss."

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Heart to heart, as I said in your restack: Thank you for that, as well.

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Harriet Grae's avatar

I cannot imagine this loss. Thank you for your words -- I can feel your grief. We haven't met, but I'm sending you much love.

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Ah, my heart to yours, Harriet. xx

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Tracey Sarah's avatar

This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read about grief. And I’ve read many. Thank you for sharing this.

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

My heart to yours -- you words about this essay so close to my heart moved me to tears, Tracey.

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Writer-Type's avatar

I lost my wife last May. This. Every word. Thank you.

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Oh, goodness, thank you so. I remember when my son died rereading Joan Didion's _The Year of Magical Thinking_ where she says, late in the book, "You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends."

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Julia Gregg's avatar

So much of this is how I have felt, losing my son at 33. Thank you. I think he is with me, and also I know the hollow space.

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Yes, "the hollow space" -- so well put and thank you so for reading and posting this comment.

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Reena Kapoor's avatar

This is so exquisitely beautiful and expressed in a language that we can all relate to even if we've not experienced this particular grief. I still grieve deeply for my parents who thankfully did not go before their time; so I can only imagine what depths it must take to grieve the death of a son. As I read it, even tho' I am not Jewish, all your symbolism made sense, in a way that this became also a lovely instruction "manual" on how to make sense of grief. Thank you for writing this, dear Mary.

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

So much thought, Reena, went into your comment and made me so grateful to virtually know you.

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Elizabeth Bobrick's avatar

Dear Mary - thinking of you every day and hoping you are safe.

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Oh, Elizabeth, you are lovely ...

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Kim Van Bruggen's avatar

Thank-you. This is beautiful, heartbreaking and deeply moving. I will see the fire-sky and think of your son. And you. xo

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Ah, Kim, means so much ... xo

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Nancy Stordahl's avatar

Hi Mary,

This piece is stunningly poignant, heart-wrenchingly sad, and yet, so beautiful too. So many emotions come through via your words. Mostly, love. Yes, mostly love indeed. Thank you for letting us into your grieving heart - a sacred space. Honored and humbled for the glimpses you share. xo

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Honored and moved by your read, Nancy.

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Carol Sill's avatar

Thank you for such an openly beautiful description -- all the sincerity, confusion and truthful pain of living inside out

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Means so much that you say this, Carol!

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Sarah Teresa Cook's avatar

Just stunning.

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Kindness and more: That's you!

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