Another great chapter Mary, and I also love reading everyone's comments. I've saved the recipe. I'm going to give it a go!
"However, it will have a certain wisdom since it knows something that the vase that has never been broken does not: it knows what it is to break and what it is to come together." - I love this line. It actually made me think of this work, of how it would never have come about, never brought all of us together to read your words, never touched us, if D. hadn't pushed you away. Life is funny!
Oh Mary you just tear at my heart sometimes. Isn't it sad that as we age we can all say that we can relate to so many different things, on so many different levels? And why is it, watching all those movie clips I find myself with tears in my eyes? Is it the rueful memory of youth, and the first kiss forgotten, only to be brought up again and revisited anew?
I've been reading and writing down partial lines that strike me as poignant titles of future stories..."Watching The Lives Of Others" "In The Spaces Of The Heart." I like that one a lot. I think it's the image of D playing the piano that strikes me most, and your description of him playing. I loved the Bach. One of life's regrets has been never learning to play the piano. I know I can still learn--you're never too old for that sort of shit, as they say--but missing the tip of my index finger, and the tip of my (what's the proper name of it?) fuck finger, at a 45º angle, I'd be missing a lot of keys. Better just to listen sometimes.
What a heart-breaking-mending chapter. And in the spirit of kinsugi, where restored vases celebrate the break with gold-flecked glue, you too, are more beautiful from the fall.
I remember reading Graham Greene's 'Journey Without Maps' in my late teens or early twenties. His journey was set in an actual place, Liberia. But I always took it as very much a metaphor for how life might go. And I think that's how I've experienced it.
I find that with each chapter, you amaze us and throw us more puzzles to solve - about you, but also about ourselves. Wonderful.
I liked this story chapter - deeply personal, vulnerable. As an older man myself, I can imagine why D. might have had problems with intimacy, especially a spontaneous blowjob. Things don’t work the same way now, for me anyway. But, I don’t blame you. The issue is that you didn’t know why he turned you down, only that he did. Great map joke and timely. Passed it on to some Jewish college friends. Getting excited about invitations from D. about getting together, and without a blowjob.
The metaphor of an unsettled map is powerful and apt. The metaphor can be applied to an individual, but it can also be applied to countries, because an unsettled map typically means a war is underway as a means of setting, or trying to set, new boundaries.
The wisdom that comes from the vase that broke reads like a hug. Like, embrace the fall and the restoration and even restoration is not the right word, I think, as the vase that broke will never be like before but perhaps better for having made that journey. And also, we're not self-made and how we need the "other." Another stunning chapter and this one has had an even bigger impact to me.
Isabelle, you express so well what I'd hoped would be seen and give me courage by making your comment personal in your way and that is the best a writer of heart-memoir could hope: that the specific becomes attached to someone else's experience.
This may be my favorite chapter of yours, Mary, because of all that it holds in tension. That recipe looks delicious (even with my lactose intolerance), but the scene it conjures is heartbreaking. I find D's jokes hilarious (I'm an inveterate teller of ribald jokes, myself), but they are not funny at all in context. This is what Ben Percy calls the art of reversal. He uses the scene in Jaws when the men are laughing and swapping dating stories as an illustration. Suddenly Quint recalls a shark attack years ago that he barely survived, and the mood shifts. We're made defenseless by the humor and then feel the gut punch more. I like your chapter better as an illustration. Heartbreaking (but I'll be sharing those jokes..., and they made me feel your pain much more keenly)
Josh, as Mary knows, the humor is what binds Jews together, from Labor to Likud - that and maybe God. (And I already texted the genie joke to my oldest friend.)
"it knows something that the vase that has never been broken does not: it knows what it is to break and what it is to come together.”
Another great chapter Mary, and I also love reading everyone's comments. I've saved the recipe. I'm going to give it a go!
"However, it will have a certain wisdom since it knows something that the vase that has never been broken does not: it knows what it is to break and what it is to come together." - I love this line. It actually made me think of this work, of how it would never have come about, never brought all of us together to read your words, never touched us, if D. hadn't pushed you away. Life is funny!
So apt, dear Ollie.
Oh Mary you just tear at my heart sometimes. Isn't it sad that as we age we can all say that we can relate to so many different things, on so many different levels? And why is it, watching all those movie clips I find myself with tears in my eyes? Is it the rueful memory of youth, and the first kiss forgotten, only to be brought up again and revisited anew?
Such a heartfelt comment and so on the mark, Ben.
I've been reading and writing down partial lines that strike me as poignant titles of future stories..."Watching The Lives Of Others" "In The Spaces Of The Heart." I like that one a lot. I think it's the image of D playing the piano that strikes me most, and your description of him playing. I loved the Bach. One of life's regrets has been never learning to play the piano. I know I can still learn--you're never too old for that sort of shit, as they say--but missing the tip of my index finger, and the tip of my (what's the proper name of it?) fuck finger, at a 45º angle, I'd be missing a lot of keys. Better just to listen sometimes.
You made me smile, Ben. A terrific comment that strikes me in the heart.
What a heart-breaking-mending chapter. And in the spirit of kinsugi, where restored vases celebrate the break with gold-flecked glue, you too, are more beautiful from the fall.
As I said, a la kinsugi, the broken vase is coming. I think we are channeling, love.
So much to get one's teeth into here...
I remember reading Graham Greene's 'Journey Without Maps' in my late teens or early twenties. His journey was set in an actual place, Liberia. But I always took it as very much a metaphor for how life might go. And I think that's how I've experienced it.
I find that with each chapter, you amaze us and throw us more puzzles to solve - about you, but also about ourselves. Wonderful.
I too remain a big fan of Graham Greene and often reread. You are lovely to write so much, so eloquently, so generously.
Mary, this is heartbreaking and delicious in equal measure - and by 'delicious' I don't only mean the food... 🙂
Ah, such kindness in your words, my dear reader and writer.
I liked this story chapter - deeply personal, vulnerable. As an older man myself, I can imagine why D. might have had problems with intimacy, especially a spontaneous blowjob. Things don’t work the same way now, for me anyway. But, I don’t blame you. The issue is that you didn’t know why he turned you down, only that he did. Great map joke and timely. Passed it on to some Jewish college friends. Getting excited about invitations from D. about getting together, and without a blowjob.
You are a favorite reader, Bill. I guess we'll see ...
The metaphor of an unsettled map is powerful and apt. The metaphor can be applied to an individual, but it can also be applied to countries, because an unsettled map typically means a war is underway as a means of setting, or trying to set, new boundaries.
David, so strikingly insightful, dear writer, thinker and wise soul.
The wisdom that comes from the vase that broke reads like a hug. Like, embrace the fall and the restoration and even restoration is not the right word, I think, as the vase that broke will never be like before but perhaps better for having made that journey. And also, we're not self-made and how we need the "other." Another stunning chapter and this one has had an even bigger impact to me.
Isabelle, you express so well what I'd hoped would be seen and give me courage by making your comment personal in your way and that is the best a writer of heart-memoir could hope: that the specific becomes attached to someone else's experience.
This may be my favorite chapter of yours, Mary, because of all that it holds in tension. That recipe looks delicious (even with my lactose intolerance), but the scene it conjures is heartbreaking. I find D's jokes hilarious (I'm an inveterate teller of ribald jokes, myself), but they are not funny at all in context. This is what Ben Percy calls the art of reversal. He uses the scene in Jaws when the men are laughing and swapping dating stories as an illustration. Suddenly Quint recalls a shark attack years ago that he barely survived, and the mood shifts. We're made defenseless by the humor and then feel the gut punch more. I like your chapter better as an illustration. Heartbreaking (but I'll be sharing those jokes..., and they made me feel your pain much more keenly)
Josh, as Mary knows, the humor is what binds Jews together, from Labor to Likud - that and maybe God. (And I already texted the genie joke to my oldest friend.)
"it knows something that the vase that has never been broken does not: it knows what it is to break and what it is to come together.”
Killer.
Love this comment, Jay.
You have undoubtedly heard the joke about the hard-of-hearing genie who granted a wish for an eight-inch pianist?
Oh, Josh -- we have a whole new basis for our bonding now.
Ah, yes. You'll have to email me privately for the meaning of "indefinitely."
What a marvelous, insightful comment, Josh -- and so generous, too.