53 Comments
User's avatar
Victoria K. Walker's avatar

I'm so very sorry to hear this, Mary. Sending you both the very best of wishes! x

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Thank you so, dear Victoria. Means much that you read the full post--and sent your good wishes. xx

Persephone Godwin's avatar

Oh Mary, I am so sorry to hear all of this, and I’m glad Del is on the road to recovery and that he has you, a powerful water sign, shaping the rocky earth around him, carving into the mountains to create a gentle path home. My love to you both!

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Thank you so, Persephone. 💗

Jeffrey Streeter's avatar

What a terrifying experience – for you both! My thoughts are with you, Mary! And my fingers are crossed for your husband's full recovery.

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Thanks you so. dear Jeffrey -- so far away and so kind,

Molly Moynahan's avatar

I’m so glad your husband is all right, Mary.

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Recovery is a long haul, but he's on his way. Thank you so, Molly!

Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Oh, Mary!!! You had my whole heart in my throat... And the timing.

Honestly, if only these idiot tech bros could stop trying to replace all the novelists and instead just invent a way for people who love each other to simply text themselves into the same room? That is the only AI breakthrough I want right now.

Because I keep wishing that, whenever needed, we could simply appear for. Just quietly. To make tea, fold laundry, bring something comforting to eat, make you laugh at something ridiculous, or simply sit beside you through the scary, exhausted, clinging-to-the-lifeboat moments.

You and Dell are carrying so much right now, and I hate that I can't shoulder even a little of it with you. I love you both beyond words. Sending all healing juju. xoxo

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

With my heart and D,'s, literally in his case, I offer my gratitude, dearest Alisa!

appleton king's avatar

Mary! sooooo hope and trust and believe you both have some calm days immediately ahead and grateful for this update and the opportunity (via your generous bread crumbs) to re-aquaint with such a delightful vulnerable (un-ironised!) soul; the rom-com the surrender to life and its nyriad challenge and of course food (omg the potatoes mussels and spinach from ch. 25 makes me crazy!!)

Your memoir is a rom-com of the highest order and hard not to imagine the love behind it, the man who witnessed first hand your seizing of talent and artistic fate, the companionship in the background like when Hugh Grant says to Sandra Bullock's do-good lawyer character in "Two Week Notice" "I keep hearing your voice in my head and can't stop and don't even want to anymore."

Take good care and please be careful driving!!! aieeeeeeeeee xo

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Appleton, you move me so--every word you write here.

And, as to driving, we have managed to charge the battery with a charger ordered via Amazon but the car still alerts to a battery problem. So, I don't think I can drive it and my husband is not allowed to drive for another month. Living in LA without a car is a bit like being held captive though we do have each other--and LYFT with one driver who scared the hell out of me. UBER drivers have been more than awful, with one I thought might try to hurt meet, seriously. So as my husband heals some troubles continue though of a lesser sort.

appleton king's avatar

those self charging battery packs are the best! I learned from camping remotely and leaving car door ajar while fishing 👹

Sounds like you need your own vehicle working properly (new battery, alternator) and in meantime while Uber and Lyft sound horrible they are fractionally better than self driving cars i bet (suicide by robot?)

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Exactly, Appleton, dear faraway friend.

Amanda Jaffe's avatar

Sending a world of love to you, Mary, and healing to your love. This was beautiful.

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

So, Amanda are you, to have gifted me with your words.

Susie Mawhinney's avatar

Mary, I was so scared at the content I might read here I was holding my breath... then wept through every word...

Thank goodness your dear love is mending, and thank goodness you were able to drive like a mad woman through the city matrix that surely must be LA—I am guessing here I never braved leaving the airport—without further cause for alarm.

Dearest Mary, I pray your love continues to improve, that he is strong, I pray also that you are thinking of you through demanding times also; we are often stronger than we believe possible during a crisis but this takes a toll that creeps up behind and knocks us flying without a single word of warning. Take care dear Mary, rest when rest is needed in the arms of your love. xx

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Oh Susie, I'm trying as he slowly improves, I can't lie in is arms physically however because that position ie restricted to allow the heart and chest cavity to heal, but emotionally I am there, for sure, love.

Susie Mawhinney's avatar

He will feel your love Mary, and nothing aids healing like love does.

Francesca Bossert's avatar

Mary, my sweet, you have me goosebumps. The lines of that film and your life! I remember reading the book when it first came out, the film not so much.

How frightening, how anxiogene as we say in French and it’s been a day and a half for me after hearing my mama had a fall and my papa found her unconscious outside… and she refused to go to the hospital until the next day … but they didn’t do a brain scan because they are idiots… so yeah, anxiogene. How is your love tonight? Do let me know 🙏❤️ I shall keep you in my thoughts. Sending you so much love it is streaming across the world ❤️❤️❤️

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

My love is holding up and improving day by day--though the process after the heart has been "fooled with" is a struggle, but he was superman-strong beforehand and after the emergency heart shock, he's doing amazingly well, So moved by your reveal about your mom--that's got to be so hard.

Oddly, as my love gets better, me, who's been holding up and cheering on, I have begun to accept that this has been tough for me, as well. Still: All my thoughts--and deeds—are nonetheless, with him. Love to you streaming from LA to Spain!

Ollie's avatar

Dear Mary, thinking of your beloved and you, and sending healing thoughts. May he be strong and well soon.

I still haven't seen this movie but will now check out! But a movie I'd really love to watch is an adaptation of your memoir.

And thank you for the kind mention of my series. Lots of love to you. 📬💖

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

What incredible and generous words. What folks need to know about us is that we've never met. We've only read each other! Blessings. 🙏🏻

Liz Gauffreau's avatar

I've had similar experiences with mocking how feelings of love expressed. I, too, have changed my outlook as I've gotten older. I hope your husband has a full recovery.

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

He's doing better each day. Hard toll but hopeful.

Liz Gauffreau's avatar

That’s encouraging.

Lor's avatar

I wanted to mention,

Katherine Hepburn’s Ethel yells to Norman (Henry Fonda) “Hurry up. The loons! The loons! They're welcoming us back.” And at the end, Norman says to her: “listen. The loons! They came around to say goodbye.” We haven’t watched the movie in many years, Mary. It was on TV last week. We both looked at each other wide eyed when we heard the above two quotes. It is a lovely synchronicity—we say the exact same thing to each other at the beginning and end of camp season. The Loons really do come in close and hang out as soon as we start carrying the first of many boxes, the two person (plus Ranger our dog) parade from the truck to the front door of camp, which lies parallel to the water’s edge. From the first day of opening our newly purchased camp 19 summers ago, to May 20th of this year. They really are inquisitive creatures. And life really does imitate art.

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

And when I've had to go home to sleep, I magically wake exactly when he does, me at home. he, in the hospital. I wait another hour to text--last time was 4 a.m.when I woke but didn't to text so as not to wake him, and he tells me he's been up since 4 a.m. Isn't that extraordinary???

Lor's avatar

It is. Like the last part the Nicholas Spark’s quote: “your soul and mine must always come together.”

Sue Ferrera's avatar

Oh, Mary, I'm so glad to read that your husband's symptoms were alleviated. That's wonderful news. And boy, do these scares take it out of the mate! Rick had an episode that brought him to the ER a few years back. It took me weeks to really begin to settle down and put the experience behind us. Take good care, Mary, of yourself and your hubby!

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Exactly, Sue.He's actually and oddly doing better than I am, as of today. I couldn't play the flute today. So little activity on my book that discouragement has taken me over along with exhaustion from full-day hospital. You are so insightful. Love to you.

Kathleen Hemmer's avatar

Mary , I hope this eases some of your stressful

moments. In February, my husband had difficulty

breathing and went to Urgent Care. Mind you,

it was a Sunday, he thoughtfully let me sleep.

He was transported via ambulance to one of

our hospitals. When I awoke, I immediately went

to the hospital. He was cardioverted twice in

twenty four hours. He is himself again and right

now is vacuuming the rug.

I was a total wreck the first week. I only consumed yogurt because it goes down easy

and I was unable to eat. I hope everything gets better for you and your husband. It is amazing

how medicine has progressed to help us.

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

So hopeful and right on, Kathleen. My husband, extremely tired but so far recovery continues. I’ll be a hooray when he’s vacuuming the rug. Love to you!

Ellen Kornmehl MD's avatar

May his memory be a blessing...your creative flow a tribute

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Ellen, my husband hasn’t died. Please read the whole essay!

Erin Carlson's avatar

Sending love!!! x

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

xx, Erin! But I assume you, as well, like Ellen ,have not read the full essay--even though I am in rom-com territory, My guess is you, like most of the world, are appropriately focused on your own work and life. All best to you. and thanks for sending love.