"I long ago let D. go. By reading this memoir while I wrote it, D. let me go. And I have been freed and seen.
"Our marriage that was broken has had a solidity I could never have imagined. It is like a mahogany breakfront that holds all the broken china of our lives together."
I feel very moved by these lines.
Powerful, insightful, and no doubt painful at the time it happened. To experience letting go, and freedom, only to find solid ground which was there all along ~ and could only be seen from the distance of letting go (maybe?)
Yeah, I know, somehow we always expect this inner journey to be quick and easy. It never is. And yet travelling from here to there can happen in an instant. It's confusing because the 'natural laws' in the inner world can't be understood with the mindset of the outer world.
"Break a vase and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole."
This story *seems* to have taken a turn over the past few weeks that I did not anticipate. I'm not sure. *Good* for storytelling! But I'm unsettled -- uncertain ground -- for several reasons. I've been thinking a day before responding. (Not, in general, a bad thing . . ..) Now I *really* can't wait for next week.
Oh, I meant it literally. (The writer in this case has no subtext.) Shifting ground -- where plant my foot next? But the ground that counts is your ground. I've been on every side of this equation. I stand where Mary stands. ❤️ Next week?!
I had a similar reaction in that I sensed in this chapter a changed Mary, more confident and more complete. A resolve that wasn't there before. As if you had indeed found a window to your soul by writing this. And you could put away the fragments and be ok with it.
I feel as if we were on a certain path and now, as Jay intimated, the story might go in many different directions next. Which is exciting.
Oh Mary, the love that carries and wrecks bc then remakes you is so beautiful, seemingly sourced from some deep well within, the questioning only purifying, the writing of this memoir, a reckoning with the love that you’ve always been. ❤️
Kimberly, I have to admit that I don't know what "bc" means, unless you meant "Breakfront"? In any case, I love that you read and cared enough to comment: Means so much. ~ xo Mary
If you can stomach the author's misogyny, used mostly for effect, there is a fascinating depiction of therapist and patient in Philip Roth's My Life as a Man.
Richard, I love Roth and have read almost all--but not that one. I'll take a look. Thank you for reading, commenting, and sending me back to Roth, whose misogyny I've always viewed as mostly for effect. A good example is _The Dying Animal_ that became a flick as well though was slammed for misogyny by Michiko Kakutani in her New York Times review--I disagree.
Lovely and heartfelt post. It's important to be "aware" that it had solidity because then we're in a better position to move forward, hopefully stronger and wiser.
This is a great passage, Mary: "Our marriage that was broken has had a solidity I could never have imagined. It is like a mahogany breakfront that holds all the broken china of our lives together."
If I haven't trotted out this anecdote before, I heard a hospital chaplain say something to me once about how we don't put ourselves back into the same shape again after a big loss. I'd already experienced that with a serious loss in my 20s -- and some trauma to go with it -- but somehow I'd believed that who I was before was recoverable. His words were a watershed, and I'm living with the truth of them after a series of devastating losses over the past three years. Maybe that mahogany breakfront is what I'm looking for: a shape that holds the brokenness, knowing it will never be whole again, but neither surrendering to the ruins.
Yes, we all need that "mahogany breakfront" -- and your story gets told in all you write, Joshua, straight from your heart. Thank you for this vulnerable and open-hearted comment.
You’ve opened the window to your heart to allow the connection carried by artful words. Lovely.
Bill, you are such a dear soul. Thank you so. xx Mary
Also, thanks for saving me from that movie!
xo
"I long ago let D. go. By reading this memoir while I wrote it, D. let me go. And I have been freed and seen.
"Our marriage that was broken has had a solidity I could never have imagined. It is like a mahogany breakfront that holds all the broken china of our lives together."
I feel very moved by these lines.
Powerful, insightful, and no doubt painful at the time it happened. To experience letting go, and freedom, only to find solid ground which was there all along ~ and could only be seen from the distance of letting go (maybe?)
Oh, Veronica, fours years in coming--so long journey of self-discovery.
Yeah, I know, somehow we always expect this inner journey to be quick and easy. It never is. And yet travelling from here to there can happen in an instant. It's confusing because the 'natural laws' in the inner world can't be understood with the mindset of the outer world.
Again so on the mark. I do think, in a way, you've described the whole memoir that is closing in, I'm pretty sure, on the ending.
Ohhh, now I'm very curious...
"Break a vase and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole."
This story *seems* to have taken a turn over the past few weeks that I did not anticipate. I'm not sure. *Good* for storytelling! But I'm unsettled -- uncertain ground -- for several reasons. I've been thinking a day before responding. (Not, in general, a bad thing . . ..) Now I *really* can't wait for next week.
I guess "unsettled" could be good or not so good? Next week will tell ...
Oh, I meant it literally. (The writer in this case has no subtext.) Shifting ground -- where plant my foot next? But the ground that counts is your ground. I've been on every side of this equation. I stand where Mary stands. ❤️ Next week?!
Oh, that helps, Jay, I read as a critique of the writing. xo ~ Mary
Oh, no! No! :)
Mary and Jay,
I had a similar reaction in that I sensed in this chapter a changed Mary, more confident and more complete. A resolve that wasn't there before. As if you had indeed found a window to your soul by writing this. And you could put away the fragments and be ok with it.
I feel as if we were on a certain path and now, as Jay intimated, the story might go in many different directions next. Which is exciting.
Yes, well-put, David.
Oh Mary, the love that carries and wrecks bc then remakes you is so beautiful, seemingly sourced from some deep well within, the questioning only purifying, the writing of this memoir, a reckoning with the love that you’ve always been. ❤️
Kimberly, I have to admit that I don't know what "bc" means, unless you meant "Breakfront"? In any case, I love that you read and cared enough to comment: Means so much. ~ xo Mary
There are those typos again. Argh! Bc was supppse to be “but”….
If you can stomach the author's misogyny, used mostly for effect, there is a fascinating depiction of therapist and patient in Philip Roth's My Life as a Man.
Richard, I love Roth and have read almost all--but not that one. I'll take a look. Thank you for reading, commenting, and sending me back to Roth, whose misogyny I've always viewed as mostly for effect. A good example is _The Dying Animal_ that became a flick as well though was slammed for misogyny by Michiko Kakutani in her New York Times review--I disagree.
Lovely and heartfelt post. It's important to be "aware" that it had solidity because then we're in a better position to move forward, hopefully stronger and wiser.
So well-said, Isabelle--eloquently brief and wise.
This is a great passage, Mary: "Our marriage that was broken has had a solidity I could never have imagined. It is like a mahogany breakfront that holds all the broken china of our lives together."
If I haven't trotted out this anecdote before, I heard a hospital chaplain say something to me once about how we don't put ourselves back into the same shape again after a big loss. I'd already experienced that with a serious loss in my 20s -- and some trauma to go with it -- but somehow I'd believed that who I was before was recoverable. His words were a watershed, and I'm living with the truth of them after a series of devastating losses over the past three years. Maybe that mahogany breakfront is what I'm looking for: a shape that holds the brokenness, knowing it will never be whole again, but neither surrendering to the ruins.
Yes, we all need that "mahogany breakfront" -- and your story gets told in all you write, Joshua, straight from your heart. Thank you for this vulnerable and open-hearted comment.
I love the Rodanthe intro and your dialogue.
Oh, you've made my day, Diane, once again.
☕️💕☕️