27 Comments
Jun 11Liked by <Mary L. Tabor>

Hmmm... when he said he had sex with his wife every day for 35 years, I saw a red flag! Maybe it's even true, but it sounded like a love bomb, so early in his acquaintanceship with you Mary.

I continue to love how you weave certain motifs time and time again in these chapters - family, food, fairy tales, and literature. You asked at the end here what we thought of your "good, bad and foolish"... I think that's the best way to describe anyone who is dating, especially if they just came out of a relationship. Like you and D., I came out of a 21-year relationship in 2019 (though for different reasons) and embarked on some dating a few years later. Unlike you, though, I got none of the pleasure of e-mails explaining why it wouldn't work... they simply ghosted me! (And that's another thing I'm enjoying in this memoir, that you and these men are very considerate about each other - apart from the psychiatrist...)

Expand full comment
author

I'd thought it was true what he said, but perhaps you're write: "love bomb".

Expand full comment

im still trying to figure out if you can actually eat off a plate like that without alerting some kind of security

Expand full comment
author

I do every day ...

Expand full comment

Ah Mary, I'm in love with you all over again! Honestly? I was reading this and smiling. I laughed outright and shook my head. And like a child, or wet cement, whatever falls on me makes an impression. The writing here is so easy, and so full of hope. (Look at you making your man chicken dinner). It's easy enough for a layman like me can understand. But it's the heartache underneath the sighs as you relive it; the subtlety--the heart on your sleeve desire to have what it seems everyone else has. Togetherness. We all need to be loved as much as we need to be held, and you showed me the easy heartbreak of it, even as you taught me grammar!

Expand full comment
author

What a grand comment on this difficult passage through. From my heart to yours, Ben, for reading writing with such generosity and appreciation of the writing.

Expand full comment
Feb 28Liked by <Mary L. Tabor>

Oh Mary…these men. They deserve every bit of your schooling!

Expand full comment
author

Means so much, Kimberly.

Expand full comment

The letter to m.r.s. is wonderful. It has the air of Johnson's letter to Lord Chesterfield, one of the great put-downs of all time: https://englishliterature.net/samuel-johnson/a-letter-to-lord-chesterfield

I'm loving your use of fairy tales, too!

Expand full comment
author

I'm loving your reads and your erudite mind, dear virtual friend.

Expand full comment
Oct 22, 2023Liked by <Mary L. Tabor>

👍👍👍

Expand full comment
author

💕💕💕 Thank you, Edward

Expand full comment
Oct 5, 2023Liked by <Mary L. Tabor>

Probabilities don’t matter for a single event. ‘Time to move on.'

Expand full comment
author

Sure, looks that way--and am trying to do just that. Thank you, Bill, for reading and commenting and helping: Means much. ~Mary

Expand full comment

First, the mental connections you make!

Second, My God, Mary -- that letter! I am sure you rendered m.r.s. speechless. The emotional instruments you wielded. Without doubt, he regretted his unpreparedness.

Expand full comment
author

Oh, Jay, what a moment in time that was--and what a kindness that you find time to read and support with such eloquence.

Expand full comment

I think none of these men have deserved you. I think you are worth a million of them. Keep posting. I want to know what happens. X

Expand full comment
author

You bet, lovely author and soul. Thanks so, not only for being here, but for your writing that I read and comment on and suggest others do as well!

Expand full comment
Oct 5, 2023Liked by <Mary L. Tabor>

"Could it be that D. will ride a white horse? Or is he on the merry-go-round with me?"

or maybe not the same merry-go-round but another one. A parallel journey - straight lines or circles - it doesn't matter, the hurt, betrayal, the risk-taking, discovery and maybe trust or learning to trust again are all there.

Expand full comment
author

Such and insightful and eloquent comment, Isabelle. My heart to yours ...

Expand full comment

"Inexplicably romantic?" I say no. Romance is not a choice, rather a good emotion that carries risk. Where would we be without romance?

You fell in love, m.r.s. couldn't handle it, and that hurt you. You expressed your hurt through a grammar lesson. I'm rooting for you to keep falling in love.

Confession: I say "I feel badly" frequently.

Expand full comment
author

Love this comment, David --and Here's to LOVE and romance and connection!

Expand full comment

Saving for my reading escape!

Expand full comment
author

Diane, you have become a favorite reader. What a grand comment! Heart to heart and thank you ever so much!

Expand full comment

How kind, Mary! As soon as I can settle in for the night, I’ll be catching up!

Expand full comment
author

Can't wait to hear what you think, following you and with you,

Expand full comment

I’ll report!

Expand full comment