Seeing through a scrim indeed, but you, with time, are unscrewing that lens. And through your own masterful inquiry, get to finally fly on a clear blue day. I do hope this feels true, because it’s what I hear and see and feel as I read you.
A scrim may not be equally transparent in both directions. If one side is bright, the light reflecting from the scrim cotton threads exceeds the light from gaps between threads, so you can’t see through the scrim. When looking from the darker side, the light coming through thread gaps is sufficient to see through clearly. Your side is bright, his remains dark. He sees you. You can’t see him. Hope you get rid of the scrim.
Haunting, Mary. We see through a scrim, indeed. No way to apprehend the past but through who we are now, whatever vantage the present has brought to us.
Also, as an aside, I know of few more painful experiences than watching a film that depicts intimacy with someone who is no longer intimate with you, or with whom intimacy is slipping away. Simply awful to see the thing you desire on the screen, to have someone nearby, to know they are in fact far away.
Seeing through a scrim indeed, but you, with time, are unscrewing that lens. And through your own masterful inquiry, get to finally fly on a clear blue day. I do hope this feels true, because it’s what I hear and see and feel as I read you.
Wonderful. I love the way light, flight and silence ricochet through the chapter. Dazzling. Happy New Year!
A scrim may not be equally transparent in both directions. If one side is bright, the light reflecting from the scrim cotton threads exceeds the light from gaps between threads, so you can’t see through the scrim. When looking from the darker side, the light coming through thread gaps is sufficient to see through clearly. Your side is bright, his remains dark. He sees you. You can’t see him. Hope you get rid of the scrim.
Amazing, particularly, the paragraph where sky and water merge. Thought-provoking.
Wishing you and yours, dear Mary, a happy 2024 and thank you for delivering these wonderful posts throughout 2023 xo
Haunting, Mary. We see through a scrim, indeed. No way to apprehend the past but through who we are now, whatever vantage the present has brought to us.
Also, as an aside, I know of few more painful experiences than watching a film that depicts intimacy with someone who is no longer intimate with you, or with whom intimacy is slipping away. Simply awful to see the thing you desire on the screen, to have someone nearby, to know they are in fact far away.