"Hair and its length in women indicate sexual availability." Rather true unfortunately. Oh how I did not appreciate my wild, unruly curly hair when I was young. Nearing 50 now, it's thinned out but still wild and unruly without the help of a curling iron. I'm thoroughly enjoying this memoir- the writing makes me want to binge read it quickly and then go back and reread it slowly so I can actually digest all the beautiful and poignant writing.
This one might be my favourite. The hair in various stages, your mother, the way you knew to start growing it again.
I have written so much about hair in my personal notebooks, but it will never make it to publication because the writing includes physical descriptions, and the physical descriptions, in my case, need to stay under wraps, or else that negates part of the point of hijab. But yes, the feeling it gives, the hair as expression, as beauty, as identity, is so real. And so, I suppose, is the ‘you can’t see my hair’ as identity.
several things as i do my better thinking at dawn: i'd like (first a re-do of comment below) to conflate this ch. with the one where you are visiting Australia then meet the lower case d on plane (that ch. i would go to quicker if i was more skilled with this laptop but it seems its not the next) and you weave in your attraction for loyal men but at same time equal interest in "imperfection" which gelled in me beyond that to write a memoir this good there should perhaps be a body of work prior like say in fiction that allows for such self-awareness (and at my age having never been a writer of substance ie made strenuous efforts to start basically writing a journal on substack may be pretentious ha) that here is equal part Annie Dillard (wild woman of borneo!) and Lady Chatterley's Lover and again it all leads to anticipation of what is to come....so pleased to have found you and this...and to see as light comes in both animals have not been devoured by wolves and are waiting patiently to see what their crazy ringmaster has in store today....
yes yes i had sorted the timeline and of course am intrigued by the woman who stopped cooking (when hmmmm she really didn't?) all this to say the above comment was a bit of a ramble peeled out of anticipation for what is to come...ie my own reading experience as well as trying to read between the lines lol if that makes sense
didnt figure you'd bail on me THAT quick 😉😂 the internet out here in this wild fuzzes u.p. around this time daily so i can relate that said you know im not goin anywhere
Oh, love, I can't say enough about what a reader you are--and you have made my day with your comments. To live and to tell and to be heard. Is there anything more. I call this connecting ... xo ~ Mary
"We could both see her through the trees of time. There was no noise while the nineteen year-old girl slid behind the trees."
Beautiful! You are a natural beauty too, not even obscured by the shrubbery of time... isn't it strange how easily the most beautiful women dismiss their own beauty...
Lovely to see these photos of you Mary, and your mother's painting. I felt your loving sense of humour leading us in this chapter away from D. and into the power of your family's love - from your daughter to your mother.
I grew my hair long around 10 years ago and a lot of my colleagues in the international organisation where I worked told me I was very courageous since they would not dare do it in such a formal workplace. I did it and still wear my ponytail to the day. I feel like men would not change their hair if they were looking for new adventures, but maybe they would. I'm still happily married after 36 years, so maybe it does not matter... I do like your writing style...
Funny about the messages hair and length send. So glad you like my writing and congrats on the 36 years of marriage. Getting to know you here and connecting through our writing.
Ah!!!! The ending!!!! I’m so glad I found you here, can’t recall how, maybe it was a mutual favorite Adam Nathan. Regardless, delighted. Continuing the binge…
Love this chapter. With visits by Michelle Obama and Einstein, curling irons, travels and life transitions, and weaving through it is how our hair defines us and makes a statement, at all of our life stages.
Hairdo as history - so true. Reading this led to my charting the course of my own life through the permutations undertaken via hair lengths, cuts, styles, etc., starting with waist length braids at the age of six to the present day graying crop thinned out by Hashimoto’s disease.
It’s fascinating how hair represents a kind of strength. Thinking Samson, but also the power to reinvent. Balding men like me do it with our beards. A lovely chapter.
"Hair and its length in women indicate sexual availability." Rather true unfortunately. Oh how I did not appreciate my wild, unruly curly hair when I was young. Nearing 50 now, it's thinned out but still wild and unruly without the help of a curling iron. I'm thoroughly enjoying this memoir- the writing makes me want to binge read it quickly and then go back and reread it slowly so I can actually digest all the beautiful and poignant writing.
Hair and women and living and loving. Gorgeous comment. I'm so glad we have found each other! xx ~ Mary
So glad we found each other too! Grateful for the connection!
This one might be my favourite. The hair in various stages, your mother, the way you knew to start growing it again.
I have written so much about hair in my personal notebooks, but it will never make it to publication because the writing includes physical descriptions, and the physical descriptions, in my case, need to stay under wraps, or else that negates part of the point of hijab. But yes, the feeling it gives, the hair as expression, as beauty, as identity, is so real. And so, I suppose, is the ‘you can’t see my hair’ as identity.
Absolutely ... I wish you could find a way around writing about it without the violation tho ... tricky --think about it.
Can't hair be a metaphor for something else and yes the reader can figure out what is meant? Is that possible without violation?
Maybe - I’m not sure. Have to dig deeper on this - might ping you
Do that! We need to find a way ...
several things as i do my better thinking at dawn: i'd like (first a re-do of comment below) to conflate this ch. with the one where you are visiting Australia then meet the lower case d on plane (that ch. i would go to quicker if i was more skilled with this laptop but it seems its not the next) and you weave in your attraction for loyal men but at same time equal interest in "imperfection" which gelled in me beyond that to write a memoir this good there should perhaps be a body of work prior like say in fiction that allows for such self-awareness (and at my age having never been a writer of substance ie made strenuous efforts to start basically writing a journal on substack may be pretentious ha) that here is equal part Annie Dillard (wild woman of borneo!) and Lady Chatterley's Lover and again it all leads to anticipation of what is to come....so pleased to have found you and this...and to see as light comes in both animals have not been devoured by wolves and are waiting patiently to see what their crazy ringmaster has in store today....
A short story collection precedes this and I was writing the novel Who by Fire, almost finished and I stopped, when D left me. Sooo …
yes yes i had sorted the timeline and of course am intrigued by the woman who stopped cooking (when hmmmm she really didn't?) all this to say the above comment was a bit of a ramble peeled out of anticipation for what is to come...ie my own reading experience as well as trying to read between the lines lol if that makes sense
are these photos in the book too? color? i like the circling back and echo of the avalanche theme...i told you dangerous
I added photos and videos here. Key photos are in book. Btw my internet is down at home. So if slow to respond, do forgive. Working on repair.
no worries
didnt figure you'd bail on me THAT quick 😉😂 the internet out here in this wild fuzzes u.p. around this time daily so i can relate that said you know im not goin anywhere
Oh good! ~ M.
When I saw chapter 44 today I thought finally, okay I am going in! So glad I can "binge"!
Oh, talk about making my day, Deirdre Lewis. Can't wait to hear what you think.
Mary, I am so excited to finally be getting into this memoir. And it does not disappoint!
“There was no noise …” All of those lines just … wow. What an ending. I got chills.
Oh, love, I can't say enough about what a reader you are--and you have made my day with your comments. To live and to tell and to be heard. Is there anything more. I call this connecting ... xo ~ Mary
"We could both see her through the trees of time. There was no noise while the nineteen year-old girl slid behind the trees."
Beautiful! You are a natural beauty too, not even obscured by the shrubbery of time... isn't it strange how easily the most beautiful women dismiss their own beauty...
Such wisdom, such kindness. You are a find, indeed.
Lovely to see these photos of you Mary, and your mother's painting. I felt your loving sense of humour leading us in this chapter away from D. and into the power of your family's love - from your daughter to your mother.
Looking forward to the next chapters. X
Aren't you a dear, kind, generous reader! Thank you, Ollie, from my heart to yours..
I grew my hair long around 10 years ago and a lot of my colleagues in the international organisation where I worked told me I was very courageous since they would not dare do it in such a formal workplace. I did it and still wear my ponytail to the day. I feel like men would not change their hair if they were looking for new adventures, but maybe they would. I'm still happily married after 36 years, so maybe it does not matter... I do like your writing style...
Funny about the messages hair and length send. So glad you like my writing and congrats on the 36 years of marriage. Getting to know you here and connecting through our writing.
Ah!!!! The ending!!!! I’m so glad I found you here, can’t recall how, maybe it was a mutual favorite Adam Nathan. Regardless, delighted. Continuing the binge…
Oh, my goodness, so glad you found me.
You rockin' that 'do, girl! 🧑🦳
Ben, don't know how I missed this comment. Again, apologies for the late reply and so glad you're reading and helping me get through ....
"She was obscured by the shrubbery of age" - beautiful.
Ah, you are a love!
Everything from “obscured by” to “France.”
Ah ...
... was fantastic. I need to be more liberal with my emoticons. 😀
I like this comment even better ... 😍 xo
Love this chapter. With visits by Michelle Obama and Einstein, curling irons, travels and life transitions, and weaving through it is how our hair defines us and makes a statement, at all of our life stages.
What a grand comment. Thank you, Russell.
Hairdo as history - so true. Reading this led to my charting the course of my own life through the permutations undertaken via hair lengths, cuts, styles, etc., starting with waist length braids at the age of six to the present day graying crop thinned out by Hashimoto’s disease.
Fascinating how you, Mary, 'got' exactly what I implied with this chapter. Thank you for the close read. xo
It’s fascinating how hair represents a kind of strength. Thinking Samson, but also the power to reinvent. Balding men like me do it with our beards. A lovely chapter.
Yes, Josh, exactly as you state. Thank you so for reading and commenting with such generosity.