33 Comments

All the bravery involved as a long marriage ends and you forge your own way, and ah, what a mess of a house you ended up in. But your humor (and your love of teaching) kept you from having more days of hitting the wall. I lived for 3 years in Chesapeake MD while my older daughter attended George Washington University so I can picture the D.C. settings you describe. And, yes, I prefer D.H. Lawrence, too.

Expand full comment

Oh, that was so hard to write and keep my sense of humor. Yes, we do know the locales. Great comment. xx

Expand full comment

OMGGGGGG!!!! At least your mail lady was awesome. This chapter gave me stress even though I know I've read it before. It's hilarious in its own special way that this couple are poets and so have no real earthly belongings though 😅

Expand full comment

The husband, no poet: the wife, a writer. I still can't get over the lock on the refrigerator!

Expand full comment

or the futon - for twenty years. TWENTY YEARS! Or the lack of plates and glasses. Or the woman who absolutely insisted on your social security card. The whole thing felt so Kafkaesque! When you said you cried all day one time, I thought, "just once?"

Expand full comment

No kidding ...

Expand full comment

apparently i must have hit the like button on this chapter months ago at least i had damn good taste....the sense of humour ie "apparently i don't exist" and grimm vs. german philosopher (i will NOT spell check him!) you are a dangerous woman jesus

Expand full comment

I sure hope so. You make me laugh. Now, for real, I am hardly dangerous ...

Expand full comment

i just googled you...still not entirely sure lol read the first thing i ever wrote on here....its my own mangled google ha

Expand full comment

Oh dear, "googled me" --hope that didn't turn you off ... I'm afraid to find out what you found ... xo

Expand full comment

ditto after you read my "Tuesdays Just as Bad" but i sense you don't scare easy

Expand full comment

All the different layers of text mixed with your experience -- it gives so much to the unsaid! Beautiful work, Mary.

Expand full comment

Oh, Elizabeth, what a gift to have you reading --and the comment so generous.

Expand full comment

Mary, I'm really enjoying reading this memoir (even if I am getting to it slowly—that Substack inbox gets quite full!). As others have pointed out, your style and sense of humor are engaging and fun to read. It also inspires me as a writer. Looking forward to reading more!

Expand full comment

Jacob, What you've written here encourages me so. I look forward to everything you have to say and thank you from my heart to yours. ~ Mary

Expand full comment

I love your style and sense of humour. THIS in the face of the 'furnished house', filthy trash can and junk car is a sign of inner strength.

Expand full comment

Oh, man, such an insight. I feel connected to you already.

Expand full comment

Beautiful …

Expand full comment

Thanks for reading ... xo

Expand full comment

Shocking that people in Missouri would treat a guest so poorly. Were they native Missourians? Their mama didn't raise them right.

Expand full comment

I don't know if native Missourians or not and you made me laugh with your comment that I just now saw. Sorry for the late reply! xo ~ Mary

Expand full comment

This one is bittersweet with laughs and realities of changing places and jobs. Excellent! I’m glad I found you on Substack!

Expand full comment

Diane, I'm so glad we found each other. Yes, bittersweet, indeed. Your reads infuse the experience and enrich my journey through it. ~ Mary

Expand full comment

We are in this together as Joyce Vance says!

Expand full comment

Love Joyce Vance--her wisdom and yours.

Expand full comment

That orange heap of metal only resembled a car. It was a bad time, for sure. But, I did perk up with the visit of the mail lady in Missouri. Good people. I did some of my growing up there with my grandparents.

Expand full comment

You are so right: that mail lady gave me hope. Thank you so for reading and taking the time to comment: means so much. xo ~ Mary

Expand full comment

I can handle the wheels coming off a marriage, it’s that trash can in the kitchen and the three burners. I’m still shaking.

Expand full comment

No kidding ... xo

Expand full comment

Thank you for sharing your story. I enjoy reading your history. And your vulnerability in these memories is your strength, and that’s inspiring to read.

“Nietzsche and the Brothers Grimm are not so different. This I am learning. I do wonder if Nietzsche is the reality check on wishes and dreams. I refuse to believe this while I consider the possibility.”

That was my favorite bit.

Expand full comment

Great comment. Yep, the paradox is key, I think now--and that's what you hit on--so smartly.

Expand full comment

How I would love to explore this:

Nietzsche and the Brothers Grimm are not so different. This I am learning. I do wonder if Nietzsche is the reality check on wishes and dreams. I refuse to believe this while I consider the possibility.

Thanks, as always for sharing, Mary. Our journeys are what make us and I prefer Lawrence too here.

Expand full comment

The exploration continues ... Thank you, Isabelle.

Expand full comment